Clarkdale, AZ is less than a booming metropolis. It is more or less a neighborhood in Cottonwood which appears to surround it on three sides. As both are small, very small, there is only one newspaper which serves the area and that only comes out three times a week. The Verde Valley Independent knows news is hard to come by, so they've given up on filling the rag daily and berate us with fluff and weekly happenings as little as possible.
Today, on page 2 (coveted for it of its use of color) two photos and a caption were prominently displayed in a quarter page sidebar titled "The Drive-Through is the Other Direction." Already we are off to a roaring start. Enthralled? Let's read on.
"An older woman drove into the Wells Fargo bank Wednesday...literally. The woman entered a parking area, but apparently missed the brake on the vehicle while trying to avoid another vehicle. [I am assuming it was parked] Her 1979 Chevrolet slammed into some landscaping and punched a hole into the bank exterior wall with her vehicle. The 89-year-old driver was not seriously hurt in the accident but she suffered a bump on the head and was examined at the Verde Valley Medical Center as a precaution."
Let me be the first to commend Philip Wright on his thorough investigative journalism and excessive use of the word "vehicle." Never have I read anything quite like it.
The best thing about this is that it is not an isolated incident. You may be aware that Arizona is a great place to retire. It is hot all the time, so you won't feel cold even when your circulation is shot. And this is only one of the perks. "Older" people from everywhere come down here to glue their noses to their steering wheels and drive 20 miles an hour no matter the posted speed limit. And they run into things at least once every two months.
Memorably last fall, a man who was suffering from chest pains drove into the side of his doctor's office. I'll give you three guesses as to why...
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